So it's certainly been a while since I've blogged. Probably because I've had little time to breathe. When I think about all of the hours I have spent on this computer writing emails, replying to emails, getting distracted on facebook and forgetting to write emails, neglecting my guitar.... it's mind boggling. The amount of screen time it takes to make a self-released CD realized is GROSS. Not to mention the screen time with phone calls. What I really need is to throw my iPhone in the river.
...and then go fish it out. In a sweaty panic.
I shouldn't be so upset. The bottom line is that with the advent of the Internet, although it certainly makes socialization more convoluted, it allows indie artists like me to, indeed, release their own records, promote it to potential buyers, and harass our friends. If I didn't have the capability to spam the shit out of my best friend's walls with myspace links, who would listen?
I just wish the do-it-yourself, Music Industry for Laypeople didn't tie us indie artists down to our keypads, as though our macbook power cables were the umbilical chords of artisthood.
I had the great fortune a few weeks ago of driving cross-country and escaping into the woods of Northern Wisconsin. For a whole 7 days I was to be without Internet! No satellite would reach me there! I was to have only fresh air, dense woodland, and black bear to keep me company!
...I ended up driving over 30 minutes three times that week to get into town just to use the Internet. I was preventing catastrophes, people! Not to mention a full 24-hour period on the phone where I nearly lost my shit and ended up yelling at the loons for distracting me from my business call. I suppose that's what I get by leaving for the woods right before an EP release. But seriously? Every person should be entitled to a vacation after 6 months of no vacation. Right? I mean, I think we have it all wrong in this country-- we are taught to feel guilty for taking days to ourselves and not answering phone calls. I personally find it sick that I experience anxiety when not returning an email within 24 hours of receiving it. I find it appalling that I DREAM about to-do lists. And wake up to check them off. I should be thrown to the bears. (For the record, I DID see black bears this trip. One of them was 20 feet from me as I rode past it on my bike! Don't tell my mom).
So here I am, the day before my EP release show, worn weary from my vacation, strung out by my self-imposed drama, and in eager anticipation of the 45 glorious minutes that will make all the stress worth while.
But the worst is the post-show let down. At 8 pm tomorrow when the show is over, I will experience an additional 45 minutes of euphoria, before plunging into the steep realization that the build-up balloon is burst, the moment of accomplishment has been accomplished, and now it's time to get back to work.
My friend Tavia (who suffered alongside me in the woods) very recently expressed to me her concern about my future. She said, "Girl, I'm just afraid that if you keep going at the rate you're going, you won't have a real vacation for the next 10 years."
Well, there is a reason I do this to myself. If it means I can re-live those 45 minutes on stage every night, sharing it with new people, that's BETTER than vacation. That's like a play-date every damn day. With awesome friends. And toys. That's like skipping in the sunshine. That's like chillin' with the black bears in the woods and sipping on a cold brew.
...actually, NOTHING is as good as sipping a cold beer in the woods. But having EARNED that beer by playing good music for people every night would just be a chart-topper.
So join me! Please, I invite you to take a listen to my new music. Or not, but there's a pretty good likelihood I'll still spam your wall with it anyhow. Walls are good for that.
And afterwards, we can all have a beer.
Thank you to all my friends, musical comrades, and my incredible family for helping me make this EP happen. Without you, none of this passion business would be worth it at all.
love love love and happinesssss,
-<3- Lic
